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Roland
Roland was a Brahmarshi of Odd Weaponry with a fondness for women's breasts. He died during the Yamatian Invasion of Libaterra. Biography Early Years Roland was born in Somewhere, Libaterra. The small village of Somewhere was unknown to most people because most people are retards. Anyway, for millennia, even before Libaterra came into existence, the people of Somewhere had always been the chosen clan to carry on the title of Brahmarishi of Odd Weaponry. There is something to be said about the clan of Somewhere however. They are a people who breed off each other. Yes, you heard me. They're like rednecks. Roland's birth took place in the Somewhere year of the Gallivanting Prairie Dog. As mentioned earlier, he was chosen as Brahmarishi after popping his twenty-year-his-elder sister's bra wide open. As was Somewhere tradition, his sister gave her breasts to him for feeding, because Somewhere tradition dictated that whoever's bra was popped open was the one to feed the chosen one. One note of mention, Roland's sister was hot. By ten, Roland had finally gotten over the whole breastfeeding stage, and he was ready for training. Unfortunately, the Brahmarishi pretty much just has to re-learn his skills rather than learn them anew. So yeah, Roland had everything figured out in a month of time. It was like riding a bicycle. So he went back to breastfeeding. But, alas, his sister had grown tired of the constant nourishment that her brother sought, and so she knocked him over the head, threw his body over a mule, and slapped the ass's arse. When Roland finally awoke, he found himself in Trinity Gask. Furthermore, he found that the women of Trinity Gask liked the "suckling of the breasts" and so he managed to live very well off. When Yamato decided to drag their foreign buttocks into Libaterra, the 24-year-old Roland knew his calling had finally come, and he stopped with the breastfeeding. He went around in his mighty towel, sandals, and fedora hat looking to heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race. Distreyd Era Roland fought bravely against the Yamatian invaders at first until his quest led him to confront Varalia Earthhaven, one of the commanding officers of the military. Instantly smitten by the busty elfess, he went totally goo-goo and wanted to oogle her breasts. Varalia was less than pleased and caught Roland by surprise as she skewered him with a precise, deadly blow. Death Roland died of his injuries without ever being able to suckle his opponent's breasts. It turned out his greatest joy in life had also turned out to be his greatest weakness which had led to his undoing. Aliases and Nicknames ; Brahmarshi of Odd Weaponry : His title. An alternative spelling is Brahmar''i''shi with the additional i. Appearance Roland was hardly muscular in his build, and was better called lank. Of course appearances were deceiving, and until you actually tried and put a blow unto his body would you believe how truly powerful he was. He was shaved completely bald, and was devoid of hair (that’s what bald means!) on his head, eyebrow hair, nasal hair, anal hair, pubic hair, and so forth. This was the way of the Brahmarishi, for only a true Brahmarishi could take the continuous shaving of his body. For clothes, Roland believed the Brahmarishi may only wear three articles of clothing. First there was the compulsory, black fedora hat. Then there was the towel of everlasting wear, which was fastened around Roland’s waist and could only be dropped by Roland himself. Finally there were the groovy sandals of dance that the Brahmarishi must don. These sandals allowed Roland to pull off complex dance moves such as the Moonwalk. Why? Who cares? Personality and Traits Roland thought of himself as a living god, and he had every right too. Because of this, however, he rarely found companionship. One-night stands, yes, but not camaraderie. It was said even cats couldn't stand his stuck-up attitude. Because of this, Roland was forced to find amity with items such as beer and drugs, neither of which apparently screwed up his body system. Sadly he never found any friends in his adventures, only enemies. Powers and Abilities There are those who would use a sword against you, and those who would use a bow. Roland never liked such things, thinking them too refined for his tastes. The weapon he’s best known for is his own body, and was deftly accomplished with it. It was said he could fracture walls with his groin alone (PELVIC THRUST). However, if he was feeling kind, he would pick up whatever was around him and use that. Once he beat somebody to death with an ice cube for calling him a pervert. Innate Ability: The Brahmarishi of Odd Weaponry was presumably chosen once every five centuries (or so Roland believed), and this trade was one that was branded within the very blood. So, when Roland was born, people knew he was the next Brahmarishi due to his uncanny ability to make women's bras pop open with his glance. A very notable facility, wouldn't you say? Relationships Varalia Earthhaven Roland desires Varalia's breasts for himself, but Varalia was less than willing to give him what he wanted. This dispute led to Roland's untimely death as he ended up tasting the steel of her blade instead of her breasts. See also *Libaterra *Varalia Earthhaven Category:Characters Category:Humans Category:Libaterra Category:Third Age